How to give the best dating advice to your teenage daughter? Has this question caught your attention? Read on to find all the answers here.
The best dating advice for your teenage daughter might come from your own life experiences. At times they might also be influenced by the culture, media or social influences around. However what remains unaltered is its impact in shaping her beliefs about love dating and relationships for life.
Teenage dating is not a smooth sailing. It entails its own share of ups and downs. Peer pressure, bodily changes, dating expenses & parent’s approval, all add on to its bumpy navigation. However, having parents engaged in the subject with a supportive intent definitely lightens the stress on to the teenager.
How to Give the Best Dating Advice to your teenage daughter?
As a parent, it is often natural to pass on our views and opinions to our children. However, these views can’t be devoid of the assumptions, biases and perceptions which we have assumed over our lifetime. So the first step to give the best dating advice to your teenage daughter is to neutralise the colour of glasses with which you see the world of relationships.
Having done this, you are sure to provide a balanced field to your teenage girl to build her game. And now your role will be to plant the right ideas, define the rules and provide love and support unconditionally.
Also another important aspect to take care of as parent of a teenager, is to learn and evolve with times. There are a variety of myths that the parents carry in their minds about teenage dating.
Busting these myths differentiates your winning parenting strategy from the parent who is carrying the age old assumptions without thinking of their relevance in these changed times. And this differentiation decides the quality & strength of your bond with your teenage daughter for a lifetime to come.
When should your teenage daughter start dating?
Isn’t Teenage too early for Dating? The ideal age for dating for your teenage daughter is the age when she feels ready for it. The right age should not be decided by what her friends, the society or you as a parent feel right.
If you are a parent who stresses over the socio-cultural norms and carry traditional thoughts on dating, this is a learning opportunity you.
An opportunity to evolve and grow as a parent and plant the seeds of independence and confidence in your teenager. So do not worry much about the right age to Date, but plan for providing the correct information to start with.
What should be a parent’s role in Teenage dating?
Communicating the rules, the boundaries and the safety instructions is the least a parent should be doing. Additionally they should try and be accessible for any doubts, questions or support that their teenage daughter might need.
Being non judgemental builds the confidence further and opens the communication channels. While entering the new waters, your teenage daughter might have her own array of apprehensions. Lending a listening ear & empathising can take the anxiety and fear of the unpredictable out of her mind. And this is a very healthy start to the new phase in her life.
The “Making Caring Common” Project by the Harvard Graduate School for Education brings out some very interesting facts on the subject:.. The report suggested that 70% of responders wished they had got guidance from their parents about the emotional aspects of romantic relationships
1) Talk about difference in mature love and attraction
2) Discuss the healthy & unhealthy relationships
3) Talk about what it means to be ethical in relationships
How to Start the conversation about Dating, Relationships and Love?
My daughter will share about her relationship on her own. May be not. But, as a parent nobody is stopping you to put on your creative hat and start the conversation. Bringing up the subject so that it seems natural and not calculative, so that exudes care and not control and so that it seems friendly and not parently, can be quite a challenge for us parents. However having the right intent makes it a notch easier for parents and the authentic vibes and right words can flow easily.
Another important aspect to pay heed to while having this crucial conversation with your teenage daughter is the empathy towards her feelings. Knowing that Teenage Stress is for real helps significantly too. Look back and you will realise that it was not at all easy for you as a teenager to handle the kicking hormones, the unappreciative parents and further dangling with the idea of Dating. So extend some empathy and see your teenage daughter blossom into a mature, capable and a more-in-control individual.
How to skill your Teenage Daughter on Dating
My daughter is very good at handling relationships, she will be able to handle things on her own. This is definitely a great news. Also, having complete faith in capabilities of your teenage daughter is something every kid looks upto. However, this absolutely does not diminish the need of your support and guidance in managing the new kind of relationships that she would be making.
Dating and friendship are two different games altogether. So, handhold her on the new feelings she is starting to have, help her process her feelings the right way and coach her to express her feelings positively.
After we have broken these myths and misperceptions about Teenage Dating, there are few other things that you as a parent need to do to provide easier navigation and continuous learning for your teenage daughter. Giving best dating advice to your teenage daughter involves setting the value system right in her from early on. Also, this involves building her views right on relationships. And for this reason having a sincere and open conversation with your teen or pre teen is a great beginning point.
Have the Conversation about Dating
I recently spent an exclusive day out with my pre teen daughter and spoke to her about love, dating, boys and happily ever after. As a preparation a day prior, I did make a mental list of things I wanted to talk to her about.
All along the conversation, I was extremely interested in listening to what her thoughts were. And I do want to share that the questions she asked were not at all easy to answer. However, the one thing that brought all the comfort and ease in our conversation was my authentic connect with her and genuine intent behind the whole initiative. Also, her questions ranged from the sealed kiss in her favourite Disney movie to the infamous #metoo movement on the social media.
Here are some pointers that I used to have this crucial conversation with my pre teen daughter about Dating, Love & everything in between. If you have some insightful experience on How to give the best dating advice to your teenage daughter, do share with me in the comments below the post.
|Have a clear reason to Date|
As a parent, it is important to know the thoughts your kids carry about important subject like this. So, a candid conversation about her reason to Date is a great point to begin with. Is it the peer pressure, or the college trend, is it the social media expectations or a genuine interest in guys. And, having this sorted is the right foundation to building healthy relationships.
|Not every Date is true Love|
Dating in early teens can be simply about hanging out together or just holding hands and going for walks. And it is not certainly the Love of their life. Therefore, it is imperative for parents to let the teenager have her own pace and take her own time to grow up to Love. While in the process, a parent can her own Dating stories & break up tales. This can help in getting the concept of Dating & True Love in correct light.
More so, your teenage daughter should know that every Dating relationship is not True Love and every break up is not the end of the life. So spend time and encourage her to enjoy the journey while completely being aware of when and where to draw the line and pull the plug onto it.
|Respect is the foundational pillar for every relationship and more so for a Dating Relationship|
With alarming dating violence and teen pregnancy rates in the western world, this needs to be taught to our teenage sons and daughters alike without any Gender differentiation. Also, respect forms the keystone of all relationships. Value of “Consent” and true meaning of a “No” needs to be clearly imprinted in the hearts and minds of our teenage kids.
|Maintain a balance|
Having Love interest is fine for the teenagers but maintaining a well grounded balance between the said relationship and all other aspects of life is something that needs to be taught to every teenager. More often than not teenagers who fail to maintain this balance end up losing out on other friendships, teams and events which are very important for the over all development of their social and emotional skills.
Any idea when pursued by passion & design becomes a strength. Therefore, teach your teenage daughter to be mindful and intentional about creating and maintaining this balance.
Have Realistic Expectations
Having high expectations from others in any relationship is damaging to its very existence. On the contrary having reasonable expectations from others is a way to long-lasting, happy & warm relationships. And this is an important life lesson that needs to be imparted to teens for their success in social skills.
Be Comfortable in your skin
The Media, Internet and Influencers are deciding the new normal for us in all arenas of life. And hence, there is immense pressure on us to look a certain way, and feel a certain way. However, having the wisdom to define your own limits to commercialisation is something you need to develop.
Moreover, teenagers and kids are undoubtedly the easiest targets for marketers across industries. And in this scenario, the best validation can come from parents and loved ones. The validation that your kids are complete. They are beautiful and They are enough. In turn, this can make them comfortable and confident of who they are.
Experiment within limits
Curiosity is what keeps us evolving as an individual. And with curiosity in our minds, we tread our own learning curves. However, it is unreasonable of you parents to snatch this opportunity from your teenage daughters. Let them try, experiment within the limits that you have set in for them and learn.
What matters the most while giving Dating advice to your teenage daughter?
This seems like a lot of ideas to take care of while your daughter enters her teenage years. However I am going to share an easy tip for you to remember all of these. Sometimes the only advice you need to give your teenage daughter is not verbal but by modelling the right behaviour.
Therefore, the ideal way to handle a respectful partnership is what your teenage daughter can see and learn at home easily. And as they say, our kids learn less from your words and more from your actions. Therefore setting a good example of you handling your love relationship with your spouse/partner also plays an important role.
However, once your daughter senses the disconnect in your ideas and conduct, you loose the battle of winning her trust and attention for relationship advice forever. Therefore it is imperative to walk the talk and set awesome relationship goals in front your kids.
The specific answer to this question “How to Give the best dating advice to your teenage daughter?” may vary with every parent. However, what matters the most is how human and evolved you can get to handle a sensitive subject like this in your teenage daughter’s life. More importantly, the way of you manage this subject will shape your daughter’s thoughts about love and relationships. Therefore, it is advisable to put aside some time to think, plan and conduct yourself well while holding this conversation. This way you can easily win the situation and your daughters heart forever.