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E – Emotional Intelligence

The Concept:

Emotional Intelligence is all about managing emotions. It is often referred to as emotional quotient (EQ) too.

Being Emotionally Intelligent encompasses 4 values:

  1. Perceive emotions
  2. Understanding emotions
  3. Managing Emotions

Perceiving emotions refers to taking up & making note of emotional cues from self and others. Understanding Emotions refers to recognizing emotions, identifying reasons behind those emotions and understanding trends over a period of time. Managing Emotions refers to controlling or expressing emotions at the right time to create desired results.

There are five core elements of Emotional intelligence. One needs to work dedicatedly on all these aspects to develop higher EQ –

  1. Self-awareness –recognize your strengths, limits, and weaknesses and work on these positively to become more confident.
  2. Self-regulation – is all about self-control. Think before displaying emotions and speaking. This motivates a person, to be honest, own up, welcome change and have an open mind.
  3. Self-motivation – fix your goal and keep working towards it consistently. Take initiative, be positive and be committed.
  4. Empathy – is when you understand others’ perspective and feelings. It also means encouraging others and bolstering their strengths.
  5. Social skills – this is how you interact with others. Communicate well, inspire people, resolve issues, work together as a team and promote meaningful relationships.
    1. Our emotions directly affect our behavior and those of others around. Hence, it is essential to know how to manage our own emotions as well as that of others. People with higher emotional intelligence grow up to be good leaders as they can collaborate and cooperate better with others.
The Story:

This is how the discussion with my kids shaped up last night on this subject.

In the Disney movie-land, the character of Dory from Finding Nemo keeps motivating Marlin to go out, take risks and live life to the fullest. Dory keeps a close check at Marlin’s feelings and showcases the character of a great friend who cares for her friend’s feelings. With all her other shortcomings, her greatest strength is her optimism. She pushes Marlin to keep continuing searching for his son even in perilous conditions and even when he is rude to her because she perceived & understood her Marlin’s emotions and managed them too.

Dory, Finding Nemo
Dory is the perfect case of someone who is emotionally strong and positive.

Lady Tremaine’s character in movie Cinderella is not only wicked and cunning, but she also displays negative EQ. Not physically harming Cinderella, the step-mother manipulates her psychologically and emotionally because she was jealous of her good looks. 

Lady Tremaine
Lady Tremaine showcases the character of a Low EQ person. She suffers from low self-worth and is always looking out for ways to pull others down.
How can we encourage our kids to be Emotionally Intelligent?
  1. Acknowledge, accept and validate your kid’s perspective. There is no “Ideal/Perfect” way of perceiving things.
  2. Having open ears, mind and heart help. Be non-judgemental.
  3. Love your kids unconditionally.
  4. Model High EQ yourself.
  5. Teach them the acceptable expression of their feelings.

Happy Parenting!

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anupriya April 5, 2019 at 6:18 am

I now comepletely believe and see the logic behind the thought that kids need to be loved unconditionally. Their minds and emotions are so soft that sometimes, even if we know that our harsh words are temporary they take it to heart and it modifies their perception forever.

Sonia Chatterjee April 5, 2019 at 6:44 am

Tuneer has amazing empathy towards his surroundings. He sheds tears if he sees anyone crying. Unfortunately in our society, high EQ is considered more of a weakness while in reality we should strive to imbibe this more in the future generations. Great post.

Noor Anand Chawla April 5, 2019 at 9:08 am

Loved the post and your fantastic cinematic metaphors!

Rashi Roy April 5, 2019 at 4:05 pm

You explain and describe everything wonderfully. Loved reading it

Shubhra Rastogi April 5, 2019 at 5:19 pm

Emotional intelligence is indeed an important aspect that needs to be groomed in children. Lovely write up!


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