How to set dating rules for a 15 year old teen daughter? This is one question that is hovering over my mind for a couple of months now. And I decided to put my thoughts in the form of a blog post that might be helpful for all the other parents having similar aged kids.
While your teen enters the age of 15, there are three major themes in their lives – Love and Dating being the number one theme in the life of most of the teenagers. The other less prominent themes are Careers to pursue & Technology & its usage. We will be discussing about Love & Dating in teen daughters for the purpose of this post.
Dating in 15-year-old teens is a complex subject for the teens as well as the parents. It is parents’ responsibility to manoeuver around this subject safely and yet effortlessly. And this is not an easy task at all. Because all along the way your teen would be creating issues unknowingly & unintentionally too.
How to set dating rules for a 15 year old teen daughter
FAQs about How to Set dating rules for a 15 year old teen daughter
Before you set the dating rules for a 15-year-old teen, I’m sure you would have some questions and apprehensions in your mind. And so here I am listing the most commonly asked questions about setting dating rules in teens.
|Is my 15 year old teen ready for Dating & Relationships?|
|15 is definitely a good age to get into the Dating world. Your daughter is now ready both physically and mentally to handle the ups and downs of relationships. However having said this there is no one right age to definitely go out and date.
So speak to your daughter to find out her views about dating and whether she feels the need to have a partner. This is the right approach to deciding whether it is the right age for your teen to start dating or not.
|How do I make sure that she understands her boundaries for physical intimacy?|
|Well this is the subject for which you would have been laying the rules right from the preteens. While you had the conversation with your teen about her changing body & developing the intimate hygiene routine, the stage was getting set all through the way.
Physical intimacy is a healthy & a natural part of growing up and should be treated the same way by parents. Setting boundaries for physical intimacy must be accomplished by having an open dialogue with your 15 year old teen.
|Should I allow her to go on a date at night?|
|Allowing your 15 year old team to go out on a date at night would depend upon how you feel about this. Her safety should be a prime concern.
While I feel there is no harm in sending your daughter on a date to a nightclub, I do feel that going along in a group of friends is definitely a better idea. So roll across this idea on the table to your teen while she is about to start her love journey.
|How do i make sure that she is with the right company?|
|Getting to know her partner and investing your time and energies to understand their relationship will go a long way in ensuring her safety. It’s definitely a good idea for parents to invite her love interest home for a casual chat or a dinner. This way you not only get to know the kind of person he is but also communicate respect to your daughter for her decision.|
|How do i make sure that she does not neglect her studies & other routine engagements|
|Another very important topic to discuss with your teen daughter is about her commitment to studies and other routine engagements. Clearly specify that her getting into dating does not imply a negative hit on her school results and extracurriculars is something that you expect from her.
With this you are also transferring a belief that with every new freedom comes new responsibilities too. And this is a great life learning to keep.
|How much allowance should I give her to spend on her dates?|
|Money matters should be discussed openly not just with teens but with your fellow moms as well. This way you get to know what other teams are getting as a monthly allowance. Taking these inputs into consideration, fix up a decent amount for her to spend freely every month.
Another advise that I have for your parents is that after we have set the monthly allowance for her let her have the independence to choose how she wants to spend that money. Interfering or questioning her about her choices would make her feel violated and deprived of her independence. Questioning with the intent of knowing is not harmful but questioning with the intent of evaluating is something parents should refrain from.
|How do i ensure that my daughter is not getting into any trouble?|
|Ensuring her basic safety should be achieved by setting the right rules and bounds for her dating. Post this, ensuring that the rules are abided by your teen daughter is also a parents responsibilities.
Beyond this, make sure that you are available when they need you and watch their back. Another thing that parents should be mindful about is to develop their comfort level so that your team can come to you and talk to you about anything without the fear of being judged or held responsible for.
|I have seen teens trying out everything from tattoos to body piercing, how do I ensure that she does not risk her safety?|
|Well yes teens do have an instinct to try out new things take risks and break the cliches. Again having a dialogue and clearly specifying what is accepted and what is not is the only way to ensure that your team understands what is expected from her.
Talking openly about subjects like smoking alcohol and even sex makes her feel less curious and anxious about these. So speak to her with an intent of making her aware and empowering her to take the right decisions.
|Is it a good idea to go to the same club she is going on her date? I could be away from her yet watch her.|
|This is one question that comes to me very often. In fact I have seen parents do this often too. Is this a good idea? Well the answer to this question would depend on the kind of relationship you share with your teen daughter.
I don’t see any harm in doing this as far is your daughter is aware of you being around. Be clear in your mind about the intent behind these actions. Your need to be there should not arise from your anxiety to know what is happening in your daughters life. Rather it should stem from the safety concern that you have while your teen is taking her first steps into the dating world.
Communicate with her your need to be there. And if she’s okay with the whole idea go ahead and party. However I would advise you to step back if your team is averse to this game plan.
|Should i meet with her date’s parents?|
|It is absolutely a good idea to know the parents of your daughters date. However wait for a few months to invite the parents and the guy home. Please give some time to your daughter to understand the guy and be sure of her mind.
Meeting up with parents of her love interest helps you in understanding the value system of his family.
3 things you can do to make sure your teen abides by the set Dating Rules
Set the Dating Rules in Collaboration with your teen
If you want your teen daughter to respect the rules that are drawn for her in the very first thing that you need to do is to get her buy-in on those rules. Therefore it’s a good idea to send these rules in collaboration with your teen. Set a time aside for this crucial conversation with your daughter. Avoid any distractions and be hundred percent present to associate the seriousness with the matter that it deserves. I’m go ahead and have this conversation with a lot of empathy in love with your daughter. And you will see her respecting all the rules that you both have agreed to.
Attach Consequences to breaking rules
Even after doing everything right while setting these rules there can be times when you would find your daughter breaking the rules. At times like these, understand and listen to her intently. Avoid reacting or even speaking for sometime. And, when u find yourself at peace, think logically and take a call whether she was right or wrong. Based on this calm judgement, apply relevant consequences to her for breaking rules.
Be Empathetic & supportive
A very important thing to be always kept in mind while wearing a grown-up teen is to be empathetic and supportive all throughout. Just for the fact that teen years are the most difficult years in the life of a child.
Set these Dating Rules for 15 year old teenage daughter
I have presented some ideas for setting dating rules for your 15-year-old teenage daughter in the below graphic. These are essential themes to talk about with your teen. If you feel like adding something to the list below, do write to me in the blog comments section.
So this is all about how to set dating rules for 15-year-old teenage daughter. If you would like to read more about the subject I would recommend reading this about dating advice to teenagers. Also have a look at other resources that you might find useful in your journey of parenting the teen daughter here.