“What age should I allow my teenage son to date?” Has this question bothered you as of late ? Are you worried about your son’s company but don’t want to be labelled as a conservative parent ? Well, if your answer to all these questions is yes, then this blog is surely for you.
Teenage dating can be a sensitive issue for most parents and rightfully so. Handling it is even more crucial. After all, your connect with your son throughout those kicky teen years depends upon this one decision by you.
So, what exactly is the right answer to the question, “what age should I allow my teenage son to date?” Let me elaborate on it in detail in the next few stanzas. Read carefully and do let me know if my advice helped you with the ongoing situation at home.
What Age Should I Allow My Teenage Son to Date ?
Teenage in the life of a boy when his hormones kick in full swing. That is biology telling you that your little boy is growing in a healthy way. So, do not worry at all if you sense that Cupid is throwing arrows of love towards your child. Instead be evolved enough to understand and solve the situation practically.
You know what might come across as worrisome to you as a parent ? That you can’t really decide a specific age to allow or disallow your son to date. Having said that, what you surely can do is talk to your growing son like a friend and inform him about the repercussions of dating at an early age.
By talking like a friend, you will not only come across as a liberal parent but also encourage your son to make a wise decision on his own, even if you’re not around. The key here is to let him think that he is in charge and absolute control and not you.
The above infographic will help you understand the latest dating trends among teenagers across the world. The statistics have been sourced from Child Trends
Frequently Asked Questions about Setting an Age for Teen Sons Dating
Parents of teenage sons around the world and across cultures often struggle immensely as their boys start falling in love. I mean, they don’t fall in love but they surely think that way at that age.
I would like to share some of the most commonly asked questions that I have come across as a parent all these years. Their answers might help you resolve your own issues.
|What age should I allow my teenage son to date if he sees his friends dating?
Peer pressure can be hard. However, your job as a parent should be to inculcate high self esteem in your teenage son so that he doesn’t get swayed by his company.
|What age should I allow my teenage son to date if he starts getting distracted in studies ?
Whenever you feel your teenage son starts showing behavioral and attitude changes. Remember, you are not to give permission. You are to be there for him.
|Is it even normal for teenage boys to date that early?
Yes, it is absolutely normal.
|What age should I allow my teenage son to date if I find him texting with girls his age late night?
If he’s already texting implies that he is in touch with female company. So, instead of prying on him, just wait for the right moment to talk.
|Should I expect my teenage boy to share his love interests with me?
Not at all. That would be the worst thing to expect as a parent.
|Is it ok for me to guide my teenage son early about relationships with girls?
Absolutely yes. The earlier you guide him, the more informed he will remain.
|What age should I allow my teenage son to date if he gets cranky all the time?
Well, your son’s getting cranky is proof that he’s distracted and needs your support. So fixing a set age won’t do here. Fixing time to spend with your son will help.
|What age should I allow my teenage son to date if his mental health seems to be affected by his hormones?
This can be a serious condition. So instead of shaming him, just try connecting with him and even consult a good teen psychologist.
|Should there be any safety rules for my teenage son when it comes to online dating?
Absolutely yes. In the contemporary times, it is your duty as a parent to protect your child from being abused or mugged online.
|Is there any way I can prepare my son before hand ?
Yes, by talking to him like a genuine friend and discussing reality exactly as it is and not morphing it in any way.
|What age should I allow my teenage son to date if he straight away asks me to give permission?
If you’re lucky enough to have a son who asks you straight up, feel very happy and proud because your son is honest. So there cannot be a better way to connect than to let him know that all is good and that he should stay aware.
In case you have more questions to contribute as a parent, feel free to share your views in the comments section at the end of this blog. Also, do check out similar blog posts on this site.
Teenage years are hard for everyone. I’m sure you had some pretty rough moments yourself. So do not expect your kids to be perfect. As long as your teenage sons are normal and healthy – mentally, emotionally, physically, psychologically and sexually – you have nothing to fear.
Do not be unfair by imposing some dangerously high standards for them. It wasn’t fair for you when you were a teen and it surely won’t be fair to your kids. Good parents know how to strike a balance. The sooner you learn this key skill, the earlier you will be able to steer your kids in the right direction.
|There cannot be a pre-defined age whereby you allow your teenage son to start dating. It will happen whenever his hormones start kicking in as a teen. This might come across as scary. Also, your growing boy might still be a baby in your eyes. But this isn’t a reasonable reason to scoff him off. Instead, embrace him and help him make the right decision. Under no circumstance should you push him away.|
As parents, it is our duty to accept the reality of our teens. Neither will be imposing stereotypes on your teens help you in way nor will allowing them to make random decisions. The middle ground is what needs to be found out. For that, you have got to constantly transform your parenting strategy.
Any parent who feels that the age old ways or the traditional ways of parenting will work on your new age ultra modern teens, will lose badly in the long run. Trust me, you don’t want to venture into such a unpredictable and dangerous territory.
7 Key Points to Consider While Addressing the Question, “What Age Should I Allow My Teenage Son to Date ?”
As parents of teenage boys, you should always consider the following five points each time you get perplexed with your teen’s dating life. These will go a long way in connecting and guiding your child right.
Your teenage sons alone should decide if the age for dating is right
It may come as a disappointment to most parents but as pointed earlier, there just cannot be a set age fixed for dating. Also, the right age should be fixed by the teen himself. According to a recent study, dating trends across the world start as early as 12 years of age. The age should not worry you. Misinformation should.
Your own fear shouldn’t come in the way of your son’s newly emerging love life
As unfortunate as it may sound but a lot of times, parents themselves get paranoid way more than expected. Their own fear comes in the way of a teen that is genuinely mature emotionally and psychologically. One big reason for this is years of conformity by certain parents. Please let go off your fears.
Your teenage son might be young in your eyes but in actuality his age is just right for dating
For parents, their teens are always seen as babies. In fact, a lot of parents don’t even accept that their sons are actually in their active teenage years now. This is exactly where they start failing in their parenting methodology. You have got to learn to accept reality exactly the way it is as a parent.
Peer pressure should not decide the right age for your teenage son to date
Even though your teenage sons alone should decide the right age for their dating and not you, their peer groups should also under no circumstance decide for them. In fact, you should watch out for such negatively influencing factors at all times. Negative peer groups will never have positive outcomes.
Pop culture should not decide the right age for your teenage son to date
Just like peer pressure, popular culture of any sorts should not be allowed to instigate your teenage son to start dating. If not allowing your son to date against his wish is dangerous, then your son being forced into doing it is even more dangerous.
Understand the difference between biology and mentality when it comes to your teenage son dating
You need to very carefully distinct between biology that is for real and your mentality that is a social construct. Hence, going by pre-conceived prejudice or stereotypes isn’t healthy at all – not for you and surely not for your relationship with your growing teenage son.
The question of, “what age should I allow my teenage son to date” should not be dealt with physical punishment
Come what may, you are to never ever beat your teenage son physically. If you do, you will leave damaging scars on his psyche for life. Also, your own mental health should come under the radar. Talk love to your teens and never abuse. This is extremely crucial for raising confident and happy teenagers.
Good parenting is a skill and it should become even more proficient when it comes to teenage kids at home. Often, people feel that teen years of a child are the most worrisome chapters of a parent’s life. However, people who think this way almost always forget that teenage years are also the most influence seeking phase.
Who better than parents themselves to fit as role models for their teenage sons? The better you are in your parenting methodology, the more scope you have as a parent to stay flexible with your child. Also, so many parenting technique innovations can be done from your end.
Conclusive Answer to, “What Age Should I Allow My Teenage Son to Date ?”
By now, you must have realised that the most ideal and conclusive answer to the question of ,”What age should I allow my teenage son to date?” is no age. Neither should you set a specific age for dating when it comes to your teenage son nor should you worry so much.
What you should be doing most certainly is to formulate some basic ground rules for your teens, whether they are already dating or will end up dating in the near future. They should be aware of both the positives as well as negatives of dating during teenage years.
Your Guidance as a Parent of a Teenage Son Counts
Being a good parent doesn’t come easy. Being an evolved parent doesn’t come easy at all. But this should never mean that you give up trying. Remember that just as your teenage son is growing, so are you as a parent. So use this opportunity to understand your son even better.
Parental guidance during teenage years is paramount. A lot of times, we lay the rules of life for our teenage daughters but miss out on our sons, owing to toxic patriarchy that all of us have internalised somewhere. Please, do not leave your sons behind. Guide them till the end and make sure they are steered in the right direction.
Some times small gestures like having a candid chat over coffee with your son or getting his favourite pair of tennis shoes as gift helps act as a good ice breaker. The key is to spend quality time, communicate & more importantly listen to his ideas on dating & relationships. There is a huge opportunity in these conversations to coach him and steer him towards the appropriate things in life.
Don’t allow the fear of speaking with your teenage son about dating as a cause for his misinformed choices
As time passes by, your teenage son will enter into endless phases of conflict and peer pressure. His heart and mind might run in opposite directions. In times like these, your helping hand, affectionate heart and non-judgemental temperament will go a long way in mapping out the right path for your child.